The immense feeling of euphoria I have when thinking of myself as a synthetic entity, and the pain it brings when I inevitably have to face the facts that I'll never acheive what I want with my body.
Nothing makes me feel better or hurt worse than these inseparable dual feelings.
I would gladly watch reality and science break in half to give me the gender fulfillment I and all others like me deserve, but reality it too dissapointing to ever give us anything.