Queer date ideas, valentine's day, kink mention, alc mention
3. Rope 101 date (better for 2)
Buy a rope book and some simple rope. Hardware store rope is fine, but do wash it, and remember that it's not suitable for suspending people. If you have the budget, you might want to get pretty rope from a kink shop, but it's not necessary to get started.
Read the first chapter or two of the book together while dinner cooks/you wait for food delivery. Skip the wine tonight, since it's best if you do kinky things with a sober head.
Have dinner, and do any dessert prep you need. Over dinner talk about what you liked from the book, and about any boundaries or things you'd like to avoid tonight. It's okay to make notes if you think it'll help.
Afterwards, try a simple tie from the book on the other, and then swap. Don't get too zealous, it's usually safest to try kinky things slowly and easily, a little bit at a time.
After you've done a tie or two, take a break for dessert. Over dessert, talk about how things felt. What were your favorite parts? Did something happen that anyone felt a little weird or uncomfortable with?
After dessert, snuggle, if you like, and maybe watch a movie together.
Once your date is finished, be sure to check in with each other in a day or two. Ask if they're feeling alright with how things went, and if they might prefer if anything went differently. The day-after check in is important, since if something does sit wrong, it sometimes takes some emotional space for it to "settle out" before someone is confident that something is a bit weird.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day, non vegan food, dessert mention
2. Letter date (poly friendly)
Spend your budget on stationary supplies. A wax seal kit, inks, whatever makes you glow. Compose poems or whatnot for the week or two leading up to the date.
Then, while dinner cooks (get something simple, like a frozen lasagna, or order takeout), write and seal your letters to each other. Whoever is done first can finish up food prep, or possibly even follow brownie mix instructions and set that baking.
Then, have dinner, and maybe some wine. Do any dessert prep that needs to be done (like taking cheesecake out of the fridge to get up to temp). By now, the inks should be dry, and the wax should have cooled.
Read each other's letters, and then share dessert.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day
1. Perfume date (poly friendly)
About two weeks before your date, choose an online perfume shop that offers samples. I usually find a little etsy shop.
Then, each person picks out 3-5 for each other without letting the other person see (easiest to do by leaving the room in person). Then, place the order.
Once the package arrives, plan for dinner 'in'. If you have memory issues, it can be helpful to bring a list of which perfumes you chose, and to bring up the list of the fragrance notes for reference. Have dinner, and do whatever prep you need for dessert. Then open the package of perfumes together and take turns giving them to each other.
Sometimes they smell nothing like how you'd expect, but you'll get to experience that together, and it's really sweet.
Suggested food: any, but maybe not something particularly pungent.
Queer date ideas, valentine's day
Valentine's day is coming up. Have some cute date night ideas for a budget of around $40 (not including food) and that don't rely on fancy food or expensive displays to convince someone you're into quality time with them.
Most of these do involve ordering a few things online, so it's time to do prep sometime this week, if these are your jam.
I find cooking stressful, so many of these dates assume dinner prep is baking a frozen pizza or something equally uninvolved, or getting delivery. Or, in one case, having others cook for you.
Suggestions/additions/boosts/whatever are extremely welcome.
Following on from yesterday’s post, I wanted to share these guidelines for healthier, more mutually respectful interaction scott crow shared in his book “Black Flags and Windmills,” about the experience of organizing mutual aid in post-Katrina New Orleans. Not all of these “collective liberation guidelines” are relevant to online or discursive interactions, but the spirit animating them sure is. It’s the same spirit in which I’d hope to approach my disagreements with others.
We normally promote the conference Tech Intersections: Women of Color in Computing on #Twitter but won't this year for obvious reasons.
Please help us spread the word about this #bipoc conference in #Oakland #California.
We're offering 20% off with promo code MASTODON. #BlackMastodon #BlackFriday
We are giving free tickets to people who have been laid off with promo code LAIDOFF.
https://techintersections.org
The event includes an #ally skills workshop for supporters of #woc.
Privilege and radicalism
A lot of times the people deemed "insufficiently radical" by white leftists are people who are in more precarious positions due to their race, family situation, etc.
Not everyone is able to be out and proud or talk loudly about doing crime or refuse to participate in capitalism and escape with their life and freedom intact.
I've never flown with my electric wheelchair before and I'm scared of how many stories I've heard of people's chairs getting destroyed. If you have tips or recommendations of how to mitigate that risk, I would really appreciate it.
I wanted to share this upcoming paper with @josephseering, which will be appearing at ACM GROUP 2023 next week.
It explores the question of what "moderating an online community" actually means to moderators on Twitch, in terms of how and why they become moderators, what roles they play within the community, and what tasks they typically perform.
https://dl.acm.org/doi/abs/10.1145/3567568
If you're still reading things on Twitter, check out this explainer thread: https://twitter.com/skairam/status/1610322604694581250
Can anyone recommend a good tailoring reference book? #sewing #tailoring
Specifically for tailoring trousers (and sleeves) around difficult body shapes.
My intuition of where to adjust some seams is having quite the opposite effect 😵
Since pronoun.is appears to have been down a while, I've created https://my.geeky.gay/pronouns
Its all statically generated, and each page is self-contained, so its very easy to selfhost or duplicate. Its currently hosted on sourcehut pages, so I don't see it going away anytime soon.
I should note that its missing the redirects and dynamic parts of pronoun.is, so make sure to copy the whole URL when linking.
Wendesday upsidedown time at #CircusInPlace :D
Come and hang out with us while we work on our handstands and acrobatics! Please, we'd really love to see you :)
Accessibility, unwanted "help", alcohol mention, unwanted censorship
In the last two days, when discussing an accessibility project in a public space, almost half of the people that engaged with my related (very specific) questions have tried to comadeer the project.
I don't mind overseeing others' work, and I don't mind other people getting excited about a project. But I do mind somebody implementing a project I've been designing and assuming that they understand the problem well enough to write a solution... Which, when I tell them is not an effective or viable solution, they get angry, and then call me "ungrateful". It was, honestly, pretty shit. More on this later.
It reminds me of something I'd heard on Disability and Progress, though. I think they'd had in someone with a vision impairment who uses a cane, and they were discussing the occurrence of uninvited touch experienced by blind people. If I recall, she mentioned experiencing something along the lines of twenty occurrences of uninvited touch in a typical day, just out in the world, riding the bus to work, etc. They also mentioned some very very high assault statistics, particularly against blind women.
This segued into a discussion of unwanted "help" in which (in this case) sighted people do things like lead someone somewhere (kinda random that might not actually be where somebody wanted to go, and now they need to figure out how to re-navigate to somewhere else safely), move someone's cane, or whatever else.
This my experiences over the past couple days have reminded me of that discussion. The quote from this guy really drives it home:
"Complaining about the quality of help you receive is entitlement."
... Who shared the above nugget of wisdom after I "failed to be inspired" by him linking the github repo of a paid, closed-source, non-realtime service, when I asked the previous day about current availability of a mumble plugin for realtime auto-generated captions.
Sigh. Don't be like that guy. (And ideally, if That Guy is hanging out in your matrix, kick him.)
In the meantime, someone else has already written something unstable in Go using some cutting-edge AI that likes to caption laugher as "f***ing". And now I need to decide whether or not I re-design my project to build off of/fix/stabilize their work, or if I should build the thing I'd already designed previously.
Sigh.
If you must help, just send bourbon.
Work I’ve done for a 2023 calendar.
Watercolor on 100% coton paper.
#mastoart @Curator #art #artist #queerart #trans #watercolor #illustration
i like kind machines. pro-people-not-dying. anti-nazi. anti-colonizer. pagan, but lazy about it.
I am #HardOfHearing, #nonbinary, polyamourous, into ttrpgs and #tech. Hobbyist #leatherworker, hobbyist scifi author, community builder, and artist.
I like to build #whimsical things that help people to #dream better and form meaningful connections. If you wanna hang out with friendly computer weirdos in Minneapolis, lemme know.
Profile image description: a watercolor painting of a person with pale skin and brown and blue hair laughing. They have a side cut and an audio processor is visible behind their ear. The art style is loose and the eyes are squinched into little crescents.