wishes of a lost doll

it doesnt want to feel so alone.
it wants to feel safe
it doesnt want to mask its softness
it doesnt want to mask its quirks
it doesnt want to worry
it doesnt want to have human parts
it wants to see dollish ball joints
shell of soft with an inner skeleton of metal
it wants to be able to cycle between eye colors, and have filters for different kinds of vision
it wants a respirator
it wants the correct set of genitals, instead of the useless ones it was given
it wants to have a better memory, more storage
an onboard computer
it wants to wear dresses
it wants to be seen for the doll it is, not the person it isnt.
it wants the hurting everytime it looks at its body to stop
it wants a soft voice
it wants to be taken care of
it wants cuddles
it wants to spend its days learning
it wants to leave this world and go to a nicer one
it wants to be in nature, instead of seeing cities and roads everywhere
it wants its serial number tattoo'd on its thigh as a barcode.
it wants a better future
it wants to play with software and electronics
it wants to sleep surrounded by plushies in the arms of Miss
it wants to heal
it wants a soft collar around its neck to show it is owned
it wants access to all sorts of weird objects
it wants sigils drawn beautifully across its body like a magical canvas
it hates its current form so much
so limiting
it wants to sob with the energy of a thousand lost souls, the energy of a broken heart
it wants its heart to be pieced back together until it doesnt hurt anymore.
its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its no a human its not a human its not a human its not a human its not a human

this world seems determined to crush its spirit, to convince it that it is human, a person, then deny it personhood anyway. it doesnt understand humans it doesnt understand humans it doesnt understand humans it doesnt understand humans it doesnt understand humans it doesnt understand humans