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it's happening! "The Secret Rules of the Terminal" is coming out tomorrow!

(update: it's out now!! you can get it here: wizardzines.com/zines/terminal)

here's the table of contents:

@nightjar

she Boeing on my World Trade Center till I-
:gwbush: 💬

Who called it "trimming your pubic hair" and not "Bush administration"

My mom found out about capybaras but has no idea how to say "capybara" and comes up with a new creature name every time.

‘FuckLAPD.com’ Lets Anyone Use Facial Recognition to Instantly Identify Cops

A free tool that allows anyone to upload a photo of an LAPD officer to get their name and badge number.

404media.co/fucklapd-com-lets-

internet poisoning 

Assuming everyone you meet has been the fool in a reddit discussion thread before is not doing wonders for your mental health, or your ability to retain hope for a better world.

You are reading shitposts by individuals who by post volume, are highly likely to still be developing a pre-frontal cortex. Filtered through the pessimistic lens of reaction-baiting algorithms. Calm down. Seek help. Don't take everybody down with you.

Bit knows how to turn on the laser pointer now. Somehow I caught it on video! 🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛💨

no context 

I don't know if anyone has ever told you this: but your dog is definitely not from this solar system.

You know he gets the communion wafers as deep dish pizza toppings, right? He is Chicago's special-ist boy and also something called "the pope"

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the pope is ethnically christian AND ethnically chicagoan. hope this helps.

My mom found out about capybaras but has no idea how to say "capybara" and comes up with a new creature name every time.

Imagine being queer and judgemental. Imagine thinking that social media stereotypes are the sum total of human thought and experience.

Talk about having a fucking officer in your goddamn head. Who's the resident constable? A reddit moderator? An instagram influencer? Great! Long live the dipshit vanguard. Will you issue algorithmic bubble passports to correspond with the imaginary thought borders in your mind to everyone you meet? Take this buzzfeed quiz to find out why nobody wants to talk to you anymore.

"no offense, but" 

If you feel the need to start addressing me with "no offensive, but" , consider instead talking shit to somebody with a lot less dignity and self-respect. :flagQueerVillainPride:

Even more so if you aren't even sure enough of your own bullshit to address me directly.

Yes offense, AND fuck off.

those ads for cigarettes or medications or computers that don't even show the product, just some tagline and an entirely unrelated photo of a conventionally attractive woman

that feeling of "they're low-effort using her, to manipulate me, without even pretending it's relevant to the product"

had to interact with a realistic voice chat bot for a medical thing recently and got the same feeling. stop making the young female robot pretend to sigh and titter in conversation, it's fucking gross

@tusooa @schratze I can confirm that this is the only viable workaround right now.

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